The sage felt like clearing, for me. I’m usually an over-thinker so it’s kind of remarkable that I had no agenda or expectation when I did it. I just knew I needed to. You might be able to write and write and write, too, if you have no agenda or expectation. I just kept asking myself questions until eventually I started answering them.
Truth. It means so much to me that you read this. You were the first person I ever gave my heart to. We were so very young and it was so long ago and I never regretted it. I made a great decision way back then. I’m so grateful we keep in touch.
As a reader, I’m going to trust you that it was a fire hazard and was time. What a powerful process though….in the abstract and in the concrete, the going from room to room. In the end though, I really love this, which I know is partly adjacent to the main story: “Then I packed up and went to a place where I often go to write. They feed you and you’re surrounded by other writers. Usually when I’m there I’m sociable. This time I embraced seclusion. I took a journal and filled it.” There is something so wonderful in that as the counter moment to the burning and the rage…. A place to go, where you are fed, and where you can be … and can write. Cheers to standing up for yourself — and for sharing the story.
Thank you, Amy. As a reader, experiencing the honesty of your pieces has helped me be more honest as a writer, and your bravery in sharing them has inspired me to be brave enough to share mine. I think what you point to is actually the center of my experience and the piece, not adjacent to it. Raging wouldn’t have been the meaningful thing that it was if I then hadn’t sought introspection. Both for me as a person and for others to read about. And the introspection wouldn’t have meant anything if I didn’t write it down. Again, thank you for reading and for your thoughtful comments.
I appreciate your words and being seen. One thing many of us can do is “see” each other — simply see. I totally respective the process from rage to introspection. I also respect the safety of a space for that, too. That seems like a gift. So, I know nothing about sage…. I thought a lot about your movement through the house. I’ve now looked up the burning of sage, and I’m glad even to have been prompted to think about that small thing that I probably have heard about but didn’t really ever think about. Thank you.
Oh thanks. I’m not sure it’s gutsy. I decided to stop caring what other people think and start writing for myself. I guess that struck a chord for people? If I want to post something it’s going to have to look like this because this is all I have.
WOW. I love your writing -- its clarity, its honesty. Yes, energy only ever changes, and we get to have a say in that. And anger can lead us, if we're willing, closer to ourselves. I've always struggled with anger and don't really know what to do with it when it comes, except for write about it, of course. A therapist once told me that anger is desperation for change, and I've held onto that. Here's to you changing the energy, and whatever happens next. Thank you for sharing.
I usually find my answers when I take a peek underneath the anger. I’m learning how to sit with those feelings and not burn everything down. I’m mostly successful. (Except when I’m not.) Thank you for reading and thank you for the acknowledgement.
Huh. This made me think. A lot. I have been in that rageful place and it was no fun at all, so kudos to you for loving yourself through it and making your way to the other side. I sometimes tell myself it’s a gift to feel/have felt things so powerfully but it takes a toll on the soul. Hope the peace you found lasts a long time! (Oh, and my version of “you might get hit by a truck” is what someone said to me once: “the trouble with real life is that there’s no plot.” My words to live by!)
Something jiggles loose in the writing when I write things for myself. I always forget that. I think when we write for a reader or an audience there’s always some kind of holding back, crafting or molding, artifice. When I write for myself I’m free. I can always dial it back for public consumption, but I’m free.
That sage thing, that’s forgiveness. I wish I could write and write and write like you did. Maybe I’ll have to wait until I am grieving.
The sage felt like clearing, for me. I’m usually an over-thinker so it’s kind of remarkable that I had no agenda or expectation when I did it. I just knew I needed to. You might be able to write and write and write, too, if you have no agenda or expectation. I just kept asking myself questions until eventually I started answering them.
I've really been enjoying your missives, but this one is especially powerful! Hard to read, but also just SO strong...
Thank you, friend. 💜
Excellent work Linda!
Thank you.
There is a lot to be learned from the rubble and ash in the aftermath of a white hot fire. Great piece.
Truth. It means so much to me that you read this. You were the first person I ever gave my heart to. We were so very young and it was so long ago and I never regretted it. I made a great decision way back then. I’m so grateful we keep in touch.
As a reader, I’m going to trust you that it was a fire hazard and was time. What a powerful process though….in the abstract and in the concrete, the going from room to room. In the end though, I really love this, which I know is partly adjacent to the main story: “Then I packed up and went to a place where I often go to write. They feed you and you’re surrounded by other writers. Usually when I’m there I’m sociable. This time I embraced seclusion. I took a journal and filled it.” There is something so wonderful in that as the counter moment to the burning and the rage…. A place to go, where you are fed, and where you can be … and can write. Cheers to standing up for yourself — and for sharing the story.
Thank you, Amy. As a reader, experiencing the honesty of your pieces has helped me be more honest as a writer, and your bravery in sharing them has inspired me to be brave enough to share mine. I think what you point to is actually the center of my experience and the piece, not adjacent to it. Raging wouldn’t have been the meaningful thing that it was if I then hadn’t sought introspection. Both for me as a person and for others to read about. And the introspection wouldn’t have meant anything if I didn’t write it down. Again, thank you for reading and for your thoughtful comments.
I appreciate your words and being seen. One thing many of us can do is “see” each other — simply see. I totally respective the process from rage to introspection. I also respect the safety of a space for that, too. That seems like a gift. So, I know nothing about sage…. I thought a lot about your movement through the house. I’ve now looked up the burning of sage, and I’m glad even to have been prompted to think about that small thing that I probably have heard about but didn’t really ever think about. Thank you.
Well if that's what you have, it's fierce. Go for it.
Gutsy. So honest.
Oh thanks. I’m not sure it’s gutsy. I decided to stop caring what other people think and start writing for myself. I guess that struck a chord for people? If I want to post something it’s going to have to look like this because this is all I have.
Love this. It’s so honest and raw but so so so human.
❤️ If there’s one thing I’m sure of it’s that I’m human. I mean, I’m pretty sure of it… 🤔
WOW. I love your writing -- its clarity, its honesty. Yes, energy only ever changes, and we get to have a say in that. And anger can lead us, if we're willing, closer to ourselves. I've always struggled with anger and don't really know what to do with it when it comes, except for write about it, of course. A therapist once told me that anger is desperation for change, and I've held onto that. Here's to you changing the energy, and whatever happens next. Thank you for sharing.
I usually find my answers when I take a peek underneath the anger. I’m learning how to sit with those feelings and not burn everything down. I’m mostly successful. (Except when I’m not.) Thank you for reading and thank you for the acknowledgement.
Thanks Susan. 💜
Very powerful, Linda. ❤️
Whewwwww. Thank you for this!
You’re welcome. Hoping to make a difference for people. And thank you for reading. 🙂 I always appreciate re-stacks, as I’m pretty new.
Huh. This made me think. A lot. I have been in that rageful place and it was no fun at all, so kudos to you for loving yourself through it and making your way to the other side. I sometimes tell myself it’s a gift to feel/have felt things so powerfully but it takes a toll on the soul. Hope the peace you found lasts a long time! (Oh, and my version of “you might get hit by a truck” is what someone said to me once: “the trouble with real life is that there’s no plot.” My words to live by!)
I think there is a plot! We just can’t get the perspective to see it from the inside. What we can see though is theme. I think about that a lot.
Wow. You are an extraordinary writer. Thank you for this. I felt it deeply.
Something jiggles loose in the writing when I write things for myself. I always forget that. I think when we write for a reader or an audience there’s always some kind of holding back, crafting or molding, artifice. When I write for myself I’m free. I can always dial it back for public consumption, but I’m free.